Brain-Body Parenting – Part 2

Chapter 2 of “Brain-Body Parenting” by Dr. Mona Delahooke introduces the concept that every child has a unique brain and body platform which requires an individualized approach to parenting. Dr. Delahooke emphasizes the importance of co-regulation and relational safety, suggesting that children thrive when they feel safe and connected. The chapter goes into how a child’s behavior is influenced by their nervous system, and how understanding this can help parents support their child more effectively. She describes it as a safety detection system.

Dr. Delahooke discusses problems with traditional behavior management techniques, advocating instead for a compassionate approach that considers the child’s physiological state. This method encourages parents to look beyond the surface of behaviors to understand the underlying needs and triggers. The goal is to foster joy and resilience in children by addressing the root causes of their behaviors rather than merely managing them.

In essence, Chapter 2 lays the groundwork for understanding the critical connection between the brain and body in child development and provides insights on how parents can create a nurturing environment that supports their child’s emotional and behavioral growth. The focus is on what my child needs at this moment rather than ways to stop a problem behavior. Understanding need will lead to resolution of these behaviors.

She gives an example of a five year old yelling and complaining about a new school uniform. Instead of ordering him to wear the uniform, the parent recognizes that the child is struggling with the way the new uniform feels against his skin. They come up with a solution of wearing older “worn in” uniforms.

I once knew a wise parent who could not understand why her ten and twelve year old daughters always fussed at each other when she picked them up from school. No amount of correction worked. When she looked at the underlying need she realized they were tired and hungry. She began having a snack on their seat when they got into the car. The ride home became much calmer.

For more detailed information the book is titled “Brain-Body Parenting” and can be found in most book stores. If you would like to read more from Deborah on this topic please click the link to our blog.