Parenting your child
This week I would like to focus on a book by Dr Brie Turns-Coe “Parent the Child You Have, Not the Child You Were”. Dr Brie is a therapist at Family Christian Counseling Center who has extensive experience working with children and families. In her book she gives help to parents in understanding and responding to the unique needs of their children. She encourages them to look at their own experiences and explore how those core beliefs are guiding their parenting response to their child. She emphasizes the importance of recognizing and embracing a child’s individuality while adjusting parenting approaches to suit their characteristic and developmental stages. She encourages a supportive and nurturing parenting style that enhances the parent-child relationship.
Dr Brie states that most people are unaware of their core beliefs and that negative core beliefs are usually not accurate. She gives an example of a parent who is frustrated with her child’s behaviors. The mother’s core beliefs, “I’m not good enough and I’m supposed to make people happy” originated in childhood. This belief caused the parent to do everything for her child to make her child happy. When she learned to replace her childhood-based belief with a more appropriate “I’m a mother; I don’t need to do everything for my kids” she was able to focus on chores and appropriate activities to enable her daughter to be responsible. This response was based on the needs of her child and increased parent-child connection.
Many parents are subconsciously influenced by their childhood. Dr Brie’s book helps them to delve into their own thoughts and histories which opens opportunities to see what is needed for each individual child. Dr Brie states “Understanding and letting your child be who they are—rather than parenting to get your goals met—is the essence of parenting the child you have.
Dr Brie offers numerous exercises parents can complete to go deeper and make long lasting changes. Her book is a practical handbook for parents.
Click to see Dr. Brie Turn-Coe’s complete biography.
Click to purchase this book.
