How is your communication with your partner? Is it where you want it to be? Could it be improved? Do you ever feel like you wished you could talk about deeply held beliefs, thoughts, or feelings with your partner, but feel it’s pointless as it often ends up as a misunderstanding or an argument? Don’t feel alone or helpless as most couple’s struggle with this communication dilemma. The primary reason for this miscommunication is how the communication starts. This is called “harsh startup” and many couples begin their communications being critical of one another without intentionally doing so. There is hope! Making a few changes in how you communicate with your partner can have a very positive outcome.
Many couples have been helped by the “Gottman Approach” to couple’s therapy. This ongoing research-based approach has been developed by Dr. John Gottman and Dr. Julie Schwartz Gottman. As mentioned, this method strives to assist couples in achieving a deeper sense of understanding, awareness, empathy, and connectedness within their relationships. By combining interventions with couple’s exercises, this type of therapy helps couples identify and address the natural defenses that hinder effective communication and bonding.
Through this type of therapy, couples can destroy the cycle of stagnancy that fuels conflict. Beginning the process in the counseling session using the Gottman method includes the initial assessment that sets the stage for the rest of the therapeutic framework. The evaluation starts with a joint session followed by individual interviews with each partner. Each partner completes an online assessment that gives them specific feedback about their relationship. After the initial assessment, the couple and therapist decide on the length and frequency of the sessions.
The Gottman’s approach to couples therapy is designed to thoroughly assess a couple’s relationship and integrate research-based interventions to help them achieve an improved relationship.
As a Christian couples therapist I use the Gottman method to help couples identify where the focus needs to be to improve their relationship. It helps to be able to use the online assessment to set objective goals to achieve a successful outcome.
If you would like more information on the Gottman approach to couples counseling please contact me, Mike DeMoss at Family Christian Counseling Center. We are in the Uptown area of Phoenix which is located in the heart of the Valley and convenient for most everyone. Our address is; 1300 East Missouri Ave. #220. Please visit our website at https://familyccc.com or call us at (602) 325-1233 to schedule an appointment.