Marriage Seminar

1. Master the Gentle Start-Up

Recently, my husband, Pastor Martin Gonzalez, and I had the privilege of speaking at the Family Worship Center’s bi-annual marriage banquet. Married for 43 years, sharing biblical truths alongside clinical counseling tools was an absolute joy. Here are three key takeaways to help cultivate a resilient marriage:

How conflict begins often determines how it ends. Using Gottman Couples Therapy principles, approach difficult topics with soft speech and “I” statements rather than criticism.

• Try this: Look into your spouse’s eyes, state how you feel without placing blame, and express your specific need clearly.

2. Build “Windows and Walls”

Drawing from relationship expert Dr. Shirley Glass, healthy marriages require intentional boundaries:

• Windows between spouses: Open communication where confidences flow freely.
• Walls against the outside: Boundaries that protect your union from external attachments.

Attraction outside marriage is common, but secrecy gives it power. Voicing that attraction with radical honesty—first to God, then to your spouse—dispels its pull.

3. Guard Against Insidious Habits

Pastor Martin highlighted the progressive nature of pornography. What begins as curiosity can quickly erode emotional intimacy and develop into an addiction. Honesty and accountability are vital to guarding your heart and union.

Practical Exercise: Active Listening

To practice tonight:

• Ask your spouse an open-ended question about your relationship.
• Listen without interrupting.
• Summarize and validate: Say “What I hear you saying is…” followed by “It makes sense that you feel that way.”

Need Guidance for Your Relationship?

If you and your spouse would like structured support to rebuild connection, reach out to Susan Gonzalez, LPC, at Family Christian Counseling Center, or by calling our receptionist Rhonda, 602-325-1233. We are here to help you build a marriage that lasts.