Are you and your spouse arguing more? Is the romance seemingly gone from your marriage? Is money always an issue, or parenting, or whose job is it to ………? You are not sure why but you know your marriage is not working and you can not figure out what the next step is?
You may even be putting off certain conversations because you know it will not really be a conversation, just another argument. Do you want to learn better tools to communicate with your spouse? Are you ready to work with a therapist that knows how to restore the connection even when you feel it is lost for good?
Problems happen even in the best marriages
The love and connection we have with our spouse is the most important relationship we have. When it functions well it is the our major source of support, joy and friendship. However, in times of trouble it can become the source of greatest pain. It is always difficult to put our own conduct up for inspection, sometimes we think it is all the other persons fault.
Sometimes the transitions we go through in life can bring about communication issues. When we go through things we have never faced before we may need to develop new skills to manage the conflict. One of our roles as therapists is to help you develop more effective skills for communicating in times of stress.
Marriage Counseling – it does help,,,
One goal of therapy is to enable you to learn about yourself and your spouse’s method of communication. Counseling can enable you to replace hurtful communication techniques with healthier ones. We can talk about what you hope can be different, what you want together in life, and things you want to stay the same.
As a Center our goal is to help you both work together to create a relationship you both desire. Of course there are going to be some compromises each of you need to make, therapy is not about changing just one person, we all need to grow and change. Making changes may be hard in the beginning but do not forget the importance of your relationship.
Marriage counseling works when we begin setting goals for changing ourselves rather than to change your spouse (in reality I can not change my husband and my husband can not change me). Our marriage will be improved when we commit to becoming the best partner we can be. Developing a good attitude toward conflict can help your marriage. Disagreements will happen, the way you handle them can actually strengthen your relationship. We can show you how this is possible.
You may have questions about marriage counseling
If we need counseling, is our marriage over?
Absolutely not, not seeking therapy is what makes marriages fail. You are making a commitment to each other and your future.
What is your method of therapy?
The Gottman method of therapy is an evidence-based form of couples therapy that assists couples in achieving a deeper sense of understanding, awareness, empathy, and connectedness within their relationships that ultimately leads to heightened intimacy and interpersonal growth. By combining therapeutic interventions with couples exercises, this type of therapy helps couples identify and address the defenses that hinder effective communication and bonding.
What if I am afraid to share intimate details.
This is quite natural, it may be hard to share intimate problems with a therapist but you will find it helps to have an outside therapist evaluate what is going on. Friends and family are often too close to the situation to offer unbiased help.
I thought I would share an article published in the “Harvard Business Review” that discusses how effective groups work in a business. I know you are probably saying what does this have to do with counseling? Their findings echo the 5:1 positivity to negativity ratio that Mike DeMoss uses at Family Christian Counseling Center during…
Mike DeMoss has been with the Center for over 10 years and uses the Gottman Method for his work with couples. Last month the Gottmans were honored for their decades of work revolutionizing couples therapy with the Psychotherapy Networker Lifetime Achievement Award. I thought I would share with you the respect others in this…
I was reviewing some studies done on the Gottman Method of Marriage Therapy which we use to help couples at the Center. I thought it would be interesting to just give you a short summary of what the different studies showed. First Study – “The Development and Evaluation of a Gottman-Based Premarital Education Program: A…