Years ago when I began counseling, I would occasionally get a call from an adult who suffered from anxiety and would have panic attacks or paralyzing fears. Rarely would I get a call from a parent about a child with anxiety. However, these types of symptoms are becoming more and more prevalent in both adults and children. Many children suffer from school phobia, fear of the dark, afraid to sleep alone in their bedrooms or even to spend the night at friends' houses. Calls from adults who are suffering from severe anxiety are also becoming more frequent. Children and adults alike think they are going crazy because of their fears. Having anxiety doesn't make you crazy, though it often feels that way when your body feels out of control.
I have helped many children and adults suffering from anxiety. My first step is in letting them know they are not 'crazy', but that their fear is controlling them. Our goal is to get them to control (and conquer) their fear. This can be done several ways:
First, I find out what their relationship with God is. Do they believe in God, do they trust God to care for them, etc. Fear is not from God, so we need to turn our fear over to God and trust that He will take care of us. Scripture reading and prayer is crucial for a calm spirit. In the Bible, David suffered many anxieties and fears, especially during his times of running from Saul. He gave us a great example of how to deal with these fears by turning to God as his strength and comfort. When we read stories in the Bible of how God helps people who turn to Him, then pray to that same God to help us, He is able to calm us down and give us peace.
I teach people how to relax. Our society seems to be demanding that we stretch ourselves so thin that we don't have time for ourselves anymore.
Another way to conquer our fear is to be careful what we see and hear. When adults have the news and weather channels on (while children are getting ready to go to school, or before they head off to bed), they may hear disturbing things that stick with them. I saw a child several years ago who developed severe separation anxiety in elementary school and had to be pulled off of his mother when she dropped him off for school by the teacher. The child had no apparent trauma, had not watched any scary movies, or had anything happen to him that could have caused this sudden fear. I finally questioned his mother about his morning routine, and learned that his mother regularly watched a weather channel while the child was eating breakfast. This caused the child to worry all day long that a tornado was going to hit his school or something bad would happen to his mother. She stopped allowing that channel while the child was around and put music on instead. The child's anxieties gradually diminished and he was able to finally be at peace away from his mother. The same is true for adults - if watching the news is the last thing you do before drifting off to sleep, don't be surprised by nightmares and fears creeping into your thoughts.
Finally, I teach people how to relax. Our society seems to be demanding that we stretch ourselves so thin that we don't have time for ourselves anymore. Schools are giving our children so much homework that they stay up late at night just to get it done; our jobs require much more than a 40 hour work week, not to mention other commitments that are made (sports, extracurricular activities, etc.). I give people permission to turn the radio off in their car, turn the television off at home, and spend time unwinding (even if only for 15 minutes) by taking deep breaths and thinking only positive thoughts.
Anxiety doesn't need to control us. We need to learn how to guard our minds and live in peace. It can be done.
