Our society does a poor job of understanding the detrimental effects of grief on children. Children who are not allowed to grieve, or who do not learn the necessary coping skills to resolve their loss, are often overwhelmed with anger, confusion, feelings of insecurity, isolation and mistrust. To lose a significant person in their lives, especially early in their lives, is very traumatic.
All children react differently to the death of someone with whom they have a close relationship. Even children within the same family may have different experiences and reactions. Children often experience changes in attitudes and behavior. A child's reactions to grief can range anywhere from loud aggressive behavior, joking attitude, panic, hyperactivity, defensive behavior and destructive behavior to excessively nice behavior, lack of motivation, indifference, dependency, exhaustion, and regression.
In Play Therapy, children may be more able to communicate their grief and more able to express and accept themselves and gain a sense of control.
Children grieve differently from adults. Children tend to fluctuate between periods of intense mourning and normal behavior. With each new developmental stage, new questions and new issues need to be resolved. Adults may have "moved on", but the child has not. Some children try to compensate for the loss of a parent by attempting to take on the parent's role in the family.
A child's reaction to the death of a brother or sister depends on many factors, such as: developmental stage of the child, birth order of the brother or sister, their relationship before death, and the impact of the death on the family. Family issues may also complicate the grief process. Parents may turn to unhealthy coping skills in order to relieve the incredibly painful loss. When this happens, a child not only loses a parent to death, but also loses the grieving parent as well.
In Play Therapy, children may be more able to communicate their grief and to express and accept themselves as they regain a sense of control. In the playroom, children are provided with an emotionally and physically safe place to express their difficult feelings. Play is a more effective way to eliminate children's traumatic memories than a strictly verbal approach.
Recommend books:
Helping Children Grieve...When Someone They Love Dies, by Theresa Huntley
When Dinosaurs Die: A Guide to Understanding Death, by Laurie Krasny Brown and Marc Brown
The Fall of Freddie the Leaf: A Story of Life for All Ages, by Leo Buscaglia, Ph.D.
